It’s going to be one of those days.

You know the kind of day where you just get up with all of the energy and get-up-and-go in the world and you think to yourself, “This is the day I’m really going to get a lot done. Today is the first day of the rest of my life!” And then you plan:

1) I will restrict my caloric intake to exactly one thousand calories.

2) I will do all of the laundry in my hamper, including the fine hand-washables which have been at the bottom of the hamper for three months – which I swore to myself I would only buy on the condition that I would wear them once, then soak them in Woolite and lay them flat to dry.

3) I will not watch TV.

4) I will not indulge my urge to curse in traffic.

5) I will exercise ten minutes longer and twenty percent faster.

6) I will clean behind the refrigerator.

7) I will scour the stovetop.

8) I will finish three more pages in my screenplay.

9) I will make Henry an appointment for his annual with the vet.

10) I will make me an appointment for my annual with the ob-gyn.

11) I will nag Art to make an appointment for his annual with the GP.

12) I will cook a real dinner, as opposed to nuking a frozen pizza.

13) I will set a proper table instead of eating in front of the tube.

14) I will write something meaningful in my blog, or at least –

15) I will write something mildly amusing in my blog.

16) I will not go to bed tonight sighing, “Well, tomorrow’s another day”.

Have you ever had a day like this? No, I don’t mean a day where you actually did all the things you planned to do. I mean a day where you planned all the things you planned to do, then got distracted. Because, after all, the phone rings, the cat throws up, the basement floods, the car stalls, and Mercury is in retrograde. So you do what you can. You eat what you must. You curse because you can’t help it. And you do go to bed and sigh, just like Scarlett O’Hara – After all, tomorrow is another day!

© 2004, Robin Munson

 Category: Humor

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