C, Eb and G Walk Into a Bar…

C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, “sorry, but we don’t serve minors.” So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. D comes in and heads for the bathroom saying, “Excuse me. I’ll just be a second.” Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, “Get out! You’re the seventh minor I’ve found in this bar tonight.”

E-Flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, “you’re looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development.” Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural. Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he’s under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.
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Thanks to Billy Rader for sending me this. Just had to post it!

 Category: Art's Musings Humor

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PEACE

21 Comments

  1. Bob Lightfoot

    Art….I last saw you (met you once) at Harvey’s Gold Street, Garden Grove Ca. in the 60’s when you played with Virgil Beckham, Gerard Belisle (5th Cavalry) before you became Bigfoot….nice trip down memory lane. I have the vinyl Bigfoot album…still great stuff. Do you keep in touch with any of the old band members?

  2. admin

    Hi Bob,

    Nice to hear from you. Yes, that was a long time ago.
    Dave Garland is married to my ex-wife and lives
    (and still playing) in Las Vegas. Saw Virgil about
    10 years ago when we lived in Nashville for awhile.
    Talked to him a couple of years ago and he’s
    selling real estate. Saw Ernie abou a year ago and
    he lives in Eureka, CA. Don’t know about Gerard.
    I’m still writing and producing music. How about
    you?

  3. Ron Heine

    Hey Art, I can still vividly remember Bigfoot. We were a bit younger then and could barely get into Harveys Gold Street. Your guitar work was always inspiring! Come to think of it, all the guys would regularly blow us away! The switch to the Bigfoot scenario was not welcomed at first, but as you guys got into it, we (my band and I, locals called The Marshmellow Steamshovel)(hilarious!) got into it with you. Gerard on the timbales, Virgil (Bring Another Day)(blue eyes and all in the lights used to make my girl go crazy!) Dave picking up the trumpet, and of course your leads and vocals, all serve for great memories of an aging musician type. I think I was about 16-17 then. I’ve owned about five B3’s since then.
    I am no kid now (so I know your not) but I still cherish my good ol vinyl copy of the Bigfoot Album. Do you know anybody that has clean copies of it on CD? I would love to be able to throw it into the car with me. Teen Thighs are calling!
    Best Wishes from an original fan!
    Ron

  4. admin

    Hi Ron,

    Great to hear from you. I can upload the files for you if you can burn your own CD. Ernie sent them to me, don’t know how clean they are.

    Art

  5. Hello Art. I was the guitar player in the Town Criers back in the late 1960’s. We played at Gold Street on Fifth Cavalry’s nites off. Ran into you last at MMS in LA in 1970’s when I was working with Bobbie Gentry…you were rehearsing with David Cassidy I believe. I’m glad I found your site, and references to Gerard, Virgil, and Dave. Those were the good old days. I was very much influenced by your guitar playing, playing, Virgil’s singing, and Gerard’s command of the stage. Garland of course left us all speechless.

    RD

  6. admin

    Hi Roger,

    Nice to hear from you. I remember Gold Street and all that went on there fondly! I wonder where Gerard is?

    Take care

    Art

  7. Tamaki

    I love this joke.

  8. Clark Beckham

    This is crazy but i was just lookin up jokes and i saw the comments about my dad! Virgil Beckham is my father, and i remember him talking about Gold street and all these stories about Bigfoot and the places and people and here yall are talking about all of it. Just thought that was crazy. It’s a small world. Sarah Lee is my personal favorite!

  9. admin

    Small world, huh?

  10. Bob Lightfoot

    Hello Clark…..I don’t know if your dad told you, but I am the person that found him last year and made the CD copy of the Bigfoot album and sent it from Fresno, Ca. Talk about small world…huh?…an old 5th Cavalry/Bigfoot fan from Orange Co., Ca. making him a copy of his own album……still blows me away…
    Hope you and your family are well…my best to Virgil.

    Art has been exceptionally gracious in keeping in touch with me and sent some old pics to me of the “group”. I am grateful to you all for allowing me back in to enjoy some great memories!

    Bob

  11. Kate

    I stumbled across this site while trying to find some lyrics from the Bigfoot albm. My nephew is a drummer, and I was telling him about the band. You really were accomplished – amazing when I think back on how young you all were. As I recall, when you played in Las Vegas, Gerrard was not yet 21. I remember everyone watching you guys on the Barbara McNair TV show.
    Glad to hear that so many of you are still in the music business.

    I was a huge fan of you and the rest of the guys. My girlfriends used to dance to the music at least once a week.

    Used to run into David occaisonally in Orange County back in the seventies- He told me some great stories about his days with Ike & Tina. Happy to hear that he & Carrie are still together. Actually, I remember when you & Carrie were married and when your son was born. I also remember when Clark’s dad married Cathy – Denny Correll’s wif’e’s sister. This was all so long ago, certainly has brought up a lot of great memories.

  12. admin

    Hi Kate,

    Thanks for stopping by. Yep, that was a long time ago but there a lot of people that remember Bigfoot. Just the other day I was listening to Sarah Lee and was amazed how it held up. Thankfully we are all still here and still making music!

  13. Don Johnson

    Wow!! Talking about Harvey’s Gold Street!! I grew up up down the street from there on Cannery street. I remember when Chuck Berry played there and Ike and Tina Turner were there. When I was old enough, a band I was in (The Yorkshires) played there on an open band night. I remember the Surries were the house band. One of the funniest things I remember about Virgil Beckham was when the Surries took a break and when they returned they ripped into a great Motown song – I can’t remember the name of the song but it had a righteous guitar solo played, of course, by Virgil. We were sitting at a table close to the front. What Virgil didn’t know was that after the break, he had left his zipper down. Nobody noticed until he stepped forward and began wailing on the solo. Suddenly, because of his movements, his zipper opened and closed with every back and forth motion. People started laughing. By the time the solo was almost done people were pointing. Gerard finally saw what they were pointing at and, with Virgil still playing, Gerard, with his back to the audience, theatrically stood in front of Virgil and quickly zipped him up. The band played through the incident with a “The show must go on” approach. Everybody was just laughing and Virgil’s face was very red. He tried to laugh it off but I know he was very embaressed. Clark, did he ever mention this story to you? Ask him if he remembers it. It still cracks me up.

    Don Johnson

  14. Tony Aguilar

    Bob Lightfoot:
    I recognize your name and I used to frequent Harvey’s Goldstreet back in the 60’s before Uncle Sam got me. I remember I painted a Micky Mouse with fluorescent paint and Gerard hung it up on stage and it looked great with the blacklights.

    Also, it has been many years since I ran into Gerard. I think it was in the 80’s or 90’s and he did not look well, very thin and seemed like he was ill.

    If you have anymore copies of the Bigfoot album, I’d like a copy. Wow, this site took me back to 5th Calvary, Bigfoot and even Ike and Tina. Believe it or not, I still have a poster from Goldstreet, It’s a little tattered, but it is bright orange hanging in my garage.

    Tony Aguilar

  15. admin

    Thanks Don, great story!

    Art

  16. admin

    Hi Tony, you can probably find an album on e-Bay. BTW Gerard is doing well and playing the Jimmy Buffet circuit under the name Ron Bell.

  17. Bob Lightfoot

    Tony,

    I copied my only vinyl record onto disc….I can copy the disc for you if you don’t find an album on ebay or send them via email…..

    I do remember the flourescent Mouse!!!

    Bob

  18. Gerald

    Boy do I remember Harveys Gold Street in Garden Grove. I lived upstairs there and worked the soft drink bar. I also worked at Harveys restruant at Chapman and Harbor. I knew Carmen, Gerard and his bro. Great family. Ike and Tina and the group used my bedroom as a dressing room. This was about 1965-66.

  19. scotty stewart

    Hi, do all you guys above know about the 1960’s ORANGE COUNTY MUSICIANS GROUP facebook page and the reunion that’s taking place on 27 & 28 July of this year? All of you guys are OC musician alumni and should be there. Geez, all that you’ve mention is right out of my past. Remember The Sundowners and The Skunks who played at the club next to Goldstreet? Good TYmes!

  20. admin

    Yes, we know about it but will most likely not attend.

  21. Scotty Stewart, the Skunks were buddies of mine from Milwaukee. Shortly before they left Gold St to return to Milw, our band, the Mojo Men (not the later SF band that charted) opened at the Chatterbox, about a mile away. I’m trying to find the actual address of the latter (on Garden Grove Bl) to add to my gig history doc.

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